family
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There are moments when I am standing in my kitchen, surrounded by dirty dishes and children arguing over something completely insignificant, and I realize I am doing two jobs at once. I am raising my children. And I am raising myself. The second one is quieter. Nobody sees it when I have to remind myself…
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There was a time when I thought God was supposed to make my life easier. I didn’t say it quite that plainly. I was more sophisticated than that. I dressed the idea up in spiritual language. I prayed for peace. I prayed for healing. I prayed for restoration. I prayed for the day when my…
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I have noticed that children and scientists have one thing in common. They both stare. The difference is that the child stares because he is astonished. The scientist often stares because he is trying to understand what he sees. The tragedy is when we understand so much that we forget to marvel. A child finds…
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There was a time when I confused trembling with devotion. I was a shattered, self-destructive girl, forever sweeping up the glass of my own life, believing God was standing over me with a ledger instead of open hands. I knew how to run from Him. Then I learned how to perform for Him. I traded…
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I’ve learned the hard way that a person is shaped by what they aim at…not by what they survive. Not by what they intend. By what they move toward, day after day, quietly, stubbornly. When I was young, survival was my goal. Not consciously. Instinctively. I aimed at soothing my wounds, protecting myself, dodging pain,…
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Atomization pretends to be freedom. In practice it looks like broken households, elderly people warehoused out of sight, adult children who live like permanent tourists, and neighborhoods where no one knows the names of the people next door. We call this “choice” or “mobility.” The more honest name is loneliness that has been dressed up…
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Merriam-Webster defines innocence as: freedom from legal guilt of a particular crime or offense; freedom from guilt or sin through being unacquainted with evil : blamelessness; lack of knowledge; freedom from guile or cunning : simplicity; and lack of worldly experience or sophistication. When I look at those definitions as given the very acts of…
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“Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience. You need experience to gain wisdom.” Albert Einstein Each week on Tuesday we will answer an anonymous message received at BitsnB1218@gmail.com or through DM. Dear Bits n’ B, “I have a very complicated relationship with my family. This post is directed at my dad’s…
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The reality of generational trauma. My daughter writes me this letter. Each parent should give this space to their child. They deserve to be heard and our own pain disables that ability. She writes: It’s always so interesting to hear our lives from your perspective. How you perceived things in our home and how you…
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Dear Mama, I think often of the generations before us. Your mother, hers, the many faceless women who came before. The ones who were hurt and who hurt and who sent down their shock of pain through a generational wire which continues it’s gnawing hum in both of us. We know so little about our…