healing CPTSD
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Recovery from childhood abuse is a long, winding, badly paved road. There are stretches where you think, I’m finally getting somewhere. Then suddenly you hit a pothole you didn’t know existed. A memory surfaces. A feeling you buried twenty years ago walks into the room without knocking. And then comes the part nobody talks about…
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Come into my home with me today, join me in my prayer life, and my daily reading. Welcome! A Jewel: Unfettered consistency. I heard the Lord quietly whisper unfettered consistency to me this morning. “What does unfettered mean,” I thought to myself. Unfettered means unrestrained or uninhibited. God himself was telling me that nothing would…
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‘You weren’t born to be anything you want; you were born to be something quite specific.’ —Martin Shaw, Smokehole Somewhere along the way I was taught that freedom meant becoming anything I wanted. Build yourself. Reinvent yourself. Curate yourself. Keep every door open until life itself becomes one long hallway of mirrors. But God has…
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The Small Permissions Most life-shattering failures do not arrive like lightning. They seep in like water through the foundation. They begin with tiny permissions no one else can see. Just this once. I deserve this. It helps me cope. For the child who grew up in safety, these permissions may remain small. But for the…
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My body became a monument to everything I refused to say. For years I searched for what was broken in me, never suspecting it might be my soul crying out. Headaches. A neck so tight it felt like it was holding up decades instead of a head. It is a strange thing, how flesh becomes…
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When I was a little girl, I learned that silence could become a second skin. It wrapped itself around what had been done to me. It taught me to smile while my spirit folded itself into smaller and smaller corners. It whispered that survival was the same thing as peace. It wasn’t. Silence did not…
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I used to think the greatest tragedy of my childhood was everything that was taken from me. My innocence. My safety. The ordinary, forgettable childhood every child deserves. And those losses were real. God never asks us to pretend evil was anything less than evil. But over the years I’ve begun to notice something unsettling.…
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The Lie of “Handling It All”… Somewhere along the way, someone started saying, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” It’s printed on mugs, shared in church hallways, and offered to hurting people as though it’s Scripture. It sounds comforting, but it isn’t fully true. God absolutely allows more than we can handle.…
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Introspection — what better way to start a week. I think this is an interesting question. How do we know what secrets are buried in our heart? Is it pain? Is it mayhem? What stirs beneath my actions? What makes me choose one way or another? What is under my fear? These are the secrets…
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Come into my home with me today, join me in my prayer life, and my daily reading. Welcome! A Jewel: God’s love separates. So many religious folks like to believe that unity is the only message in the Kingdom of God. Not so! His love often separates us for protection, for growth, for nourishment and…