murder
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On the discussion of fear — Do you fear failure? I certainly do. When I was a kid I didn’t dream much — at all. I didn’t have time to dream. I merely survived. Today, I actually live, makes mistakes, and dream. Dreaming of what might be brings a risk that I might fail. If…
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Moments of reflection — what better way to start a week. Chronic physical pain has been with me since I was a child. I have also lived with severe PTSD. A childhood wrought with murder, confusion, and constant physical, emotional and sexual abuse left its course surging through my veins. Chronic physical pain and PTSD…
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I have endured too much abuse at the hands of others because of my dissociative behaviors. Let me explain. “Dissociation means simultaneously knowing and not knowing.” Body keeps the score, VAN der kolk, m.d., page 121 You read that right. “When you don’t feel real nothing matters, which makes it impossible to protect yourself from…
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Suicide and death are such a common theme among incest survivors. You know why? It’s all murder, that’s why. I only saw my father a handful of times after that. He had chosen deceit and the battle between us was on. About six months before this illness, I’d dreamt that my father was milling about…
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Suicide and death are such a common theme among incest survivors. You know why? It’s all murder, that’s why. I only saw my father a handful of times after that. He had chosen deceit and the battle between us was on. About six months before this illness, I’d dreamt that my father was milling about…
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Introspection — what better way to start a week. Question: What would life feel like uninhibited by pain? Brigadoon is a place that is idyllic, unaffected by time, or remote from reality. My Brigadoon is living a life hidden with God. I am tucked away in his kingdom – forever safe. I am not remote from reality but…
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Introspection — what better way to start a week. Question: Do you fear being alone? Abusive relationships in our childhood teach us that we have no personal space, no time to be alone that isn’t overseen by the abuser, and nothing that would make us believe we were an individual. Individual means single or separate.…
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Introspection — what better way to start a week. Question: Do you easily call out the deception in your abuser(s) or do you deny what you see? One of the easiest ways to stay outside of healing and freedom is to deny what you see. As children, if you came through childhood sexual crimes, you…
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Introspection — what better way to start a week. Question: Does my past abuse, and the actions of survival and sin I’ve done since, make me too bad for a relationship with God? Children have a hard time making a distinction between themselves and thier parents. God does not. The actions and sins of another…
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Childhood sexual abuse is a crime that wields a weapon far more insidious than the physical—it is a slow, insidious act of murder. Not the kind that leaves a body in the ground, but a murder that erases the essence of a child, that slaughters the soul. It is a death that haunts, that echoes…