recovery

  • Plucked from the Womb

    I had a fantastic counselor. I’ll refer to him as Red. Red helped guide me into change. I reflect often on the lessons I’ve learned with him and would not hesitate to call him if I needed his loving guidance again. I’ve been with him for over 15 years. He may be the longest, constant…

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  • I have often wondered if God is guilty of neglecting me? What sin did I do to cause the abuse and pain that was shot into my life when I was born? What atrocity had I done, when at 18, I married a man to find freedom from my prison – only to receive another…

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  • A Noose Around My Neck

    Suicide is a funny gift I used to analyze from time to time. It seemed to me a reckoning that my soul longed for. I’m not sure why that is but I knew I had an agonizing pain and I wanted it to stop at all costs. Seemed to me that death would end it…

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  • The Pilgrimage of Prejudice

    Another disturbing parcel through this healing journey has been others preconceived opinions of me that are not based on reason or knowledge of my experiences. I’ve learned that ultimately their opinion doesn’t matter, but that took some time. How do folks get so judgmental? The stronger question to me is, “Why do they want to…

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  • Recovery or Redemption?

    It’s a buzz word but what does it mean? The very definition of the word doesn’t really work for me. Recovery is returning to a normal state of health, mind, or strength. What’s normal? What exactly am I returning to? My entire life is not something I want to return to and returning to whose…

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  • Laid Bare

    I remember being asked the question, “What is your deepest fear?” My response always seemed odd, but it was the first thing my mind answered, “Having someone sit next to me in my deepest suffering.” Isn’t that strange? I always thought so, too, but it was the only answer my mind bellowed in response to…

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  • Just Get Over It

    I can’t tell you how many people have told me, in so many words, I need to move on from the atrocities of my childhood. I was told I didn’t need to stay stuck; that is — until they share a tragedy of their own. Then, the story changes and they get sucked into their…

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  • A Rocky Traverse

    The path of pain is the road of recovery. It seems quite unfair that after enduring hardships of epic proportion, this was what waited for me. The best way to get to the other side of a mountain is to go over it. If you go around it, you’ll miss the stunning views from the…

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  • Phantom Pain

    I’m 17 when I meet my first husband. He’s three years older with a job, a car and a means to run away. Our first overnight together is wrought with confusion and pain. He picks me up and drives me to a motel in another town. We arrive and he runs into the office, returning…

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  • Trajectory thru Tragedy

    I work in a busy corporate law firm in the Downtown area of my city. When everyone around me is stressed out and struggling, I’ve found my place by being able to step in, calm the situation down and quickly find solutions. As a result, I am now a director and run a few departments…

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