God's Huntress

The women at church said I was strong. I let them.

It saved us all a conversation.

I had learned to speak of suffering

once I could put an ending on it.

God was faithful.

Something good came of it…

We could move onto coffee.

But there were things I still could not

say in the car on the way home.

I would turn the radio up

at the same place in my thoughts.

Lord, You were there.

I have questions about that

which make people straighten in their chairs.

Now when I kneel,

some days all I bring is the wish

that my life had been different.

I stay with You and wish it.

The candle burns down.

Someone comes in to arrange the flowers.

You are watching how I live with this.

I know.

There are people I could hurt

and call it honesty.

There are days I want my pain

to excuse everything.

Help me when I reach for that excuse.

But let me tell You when it hurts.

Let me be angry without rehearsing

the grateful thing I will say afterward.

You heard me the first time.

I need to say it again.

B🤍