When I was a teenager, I heard the other girls talking about what kind of house they would live in, if it would have a fence or not and when they thought they’d be married.
I had no such notions. I just needed to get out of my parents’ home alive.
All through the years, I’ve met people who, in their conceit, have made me feel less than. Let me clarify that: they dream of feats and desire a success that I just didn’t have time to find.
Yet, that is.
I met a nuclear physicist once and I heard him say, “Every child in kindergarten had the same advantage I did.” I took that man to task when I offered that some children had to dig out of a 750 foot hole just to get dressed in the morning. The amount of effort these children spent just surviving, left less than nothing to expend on anything else.
Such dreams as excelling in school or determining what you wanted to be when you grew up, was no where in my small dismal world.
But, the onlookers and bystanders would judge me time and time again.
“Where’s your saving’s account,” they’d mock. “You had better be thinking about retirement,” their bullshit would continue.
I wanted to scream, “Do you have any idea what it takes to be me?” I don’t have time for such trivial stuff.
“I am in this life just trying to survive,” my mind would scream in retort! The fear that invaded my nights and the terror that was the persuasive guide of my days.
Oh, I envied their plight. I wanted to be like them.
And then God taught me an important thing. He said to me, “Thank you for your courage.”
I am good enough. I am successful but I will never arrive. As they say, Life is a journey, not a destination.
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